Question: What causes some people to be afraid of getting on a plane?
Answer: Some people become afraid after a traumatic experience on a plane (or a related freightening experience such as a recent death) which repesents a threat or potential danger. Others may have a parent, grandparent, or sibling with a high level of anxiety/panic/fear, which is passed on to them. In 80% of my cases there is at least one major worrier in the family of the fearful person.
Question: Do a majority of your clients experience the anxiety and fear prior to the plane taking off?
Answer: Yes, we call that "anticipatory anxiety." In many cases, it's as harmful as the panic and fear because it consumes thoughts, feelings, and energy for days, weeks, and sometimes months before the actual flight.
One bride-to-be was unable to continue planning her wedding after her fiance suggested they fly to Hawaii for their honeymoon. Just the thought of flying caused her enormous anxiety and racing thoughts, which consumed her attention and energy.
Question: What are racing thoughts?
Answer: Your mind processes about 1,000 words a minute. However, as the anxiety kicks in, the thoughts and words run even faster -- often repeating themselves over and over without end, overlapping and swirling together, each one demanding your attention and using up your energy. Continually thinking about what if, what if, what if, worry-worry-worry. You can't control your thoughts -- they control you. Actually, although you THINK you can't control your thoughts, you just don't know how. The good news is you can learn how.
Question: How do racing thoughts lead to fear of flying?
Answer: Racing thoughts are part of fear of flying. As racing thoughts repeat, they branch out — making more irrational thoughts — based on the original irrationality. Fear of flying, a phobia, is a resulting irrational set of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs associated with a certain idea or object.
For example, a person with a fear of flying in large planes can believe the plane is too heavy. That leads to: it will fall out of the sky, it will crash, I'm scared about the time between the crash and actually dying, the noises will be deafening and terrible, and on, and on, and on. Your mind can become quite creative, developing a phobic swirl — a plunging downward spiral of swirling negative thoughts.
Question: What do you mean by "irrational" versus "rational" thinking?
Answer: Most people with fear of flying are very rational people in other parts of their lives. They function just fine, rationally, except for this one glitch of fear/anxiety/panic. When this fear doesn't make sense to them, they try to use rational thought to try to get rid of it. But this only works against them. The irrational side, the "anticipatory anxiety," and the phobia still exists — and the 2 sides argue with each other. It's a losing argument; there is no winner. It seems like a Gordian knot, with no beginning and no end. They need help to undo that process — to delete it.
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Question: What are the typical signs that someone really has a fear of flying and not just generalized anxiety?
Answer: The fear of flying is specific to anything that has to do with flying, planes, and airports. Generalized anxiety is where people worry about everyday, routine life circumstances. Their focus may shift from one concern to another; yet they experience being tense and nervous all of the time — affecting their health. A lot of our population experiences this, and they don't even know it because they think it's normal and natural to be on edge, nervous, and worrisome. Generalized anxiety can also be deleted.
Question: Do you deal with treating the cause or just the symptoms?
Answer: Both. I ask people if they think their fear of flying has a cause. They may not know. However, there IS a cause -- because people are not born with this kind of fear. If we just treat the symptoms and not the cause, the symptoms will come back. So, I use a multi-level process to undo the knot of thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This enables the person to understand the scrambled tie between the cause and the symptoms, deal with the symptoms, and delete the cause.
Question: Do some people have a fear of what happens at the destination, and confuse that with the idea that they have a fear of flying?
Answer: Being in a new situation, unfamiliar surroundings, away from home, etc., can be anxiety-producing. This fear is a cousin to the fear of flying. Some people have fear of getting lost, fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, and low self-esteem with thoughts such as "I don't think I can do it," "I'm not good enough," "I won't know where to go." "What if something bad happens while I'm away from home?"
Question: What is your success rate and how long does it take?
Answer: To get rid of fear of flying, it usually takes an average of 2-4 sessions…on the phone or in person…with a 96% success rate.
Question: Does the successful deleting last?
Answer: Yes. People learn about the power of their minds and how to use that power in a positive way. In fact, many people who have experienced the success of DELETE ask for what we call "a 10,000 mile check-up." Because of past programing, they are aware of being susceptible to gathering new worries and anxieties. They want to be sure to delete any unwanted thoughts/feelings/beliefs that they've gathered along the bumpy road of life develops into a new phobia. This is a preventive measure, like going to the dentist to get one's teeth cleaned every 6 months.
Question: What different prevalent therapies are out there for fear of flying?
Answer: There are several, all of which I've used and experienced:
- Traditional desensitization, where people with fear of flying might start looking at pictures, going to the airport, etc. Little-by-little, they are introduced to increasing exposure to the fear.
- TFT (thought field therapy) is a newer therapy involving a combination of touch points and thoughts.
- EMDR (eye movement, desensitization, and reprocessing).
- Others are cognitive therapy, hypnosis, and relaxation. Almost everyone in the United States could use help with relaxation, meditation, and breathing, to reduce stress.
- The DELETE Technique is a method of getting rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that cause the phobia. People learn how to assist in their own unique healing process to get rid of this fear — usually in 2-4 sessions — on the phone.
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Question: How did you become interested in working with fearful flyers
Answer: I've had an active counseling and speaking business for over 30 years helping people get rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings and beliefs. After one of my speeches, a woman psychologist asked if I could apply the DELETE Technique to fear of flying which she was suffering from and had not been able to conquer. We tried it and it worked. Since then, I've had great success with the DELETE Technique to treating people who are ready to change the way they think and feel about flying and who want to get on with their life.
Question:What is involved in the DELETE Technique?
Answer: If you try to deal with the original experience that caused the fear and most of the time you don't know what the original experience is, it's like grabbing at a cloud in the sky: it keeps moving and dissipating. It's better to go back and separate the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that are twined together which formed the phobia naturally in the brain. Then, a bette and healthier way of thinking and feeling results which is always an improvement.
Question: Why do you think so many people suffer for years with this type of phobia?
Answer: It's protecting them in some way. One fact I want all fearful flyers to understand is that you cannot fight an irrational fear with rational solutions. The fear of flying is certainly an irrational fear, which is attached to dozens of rational thoughts and beliefs. Once unwanted thoughts develop into a phobia, by definition, an irrational fear is in place. Strategies and advice that try to offer rational input often have no real impact to eliminate the fear. Although friends and family may try to provide advice or statistics to ease the fear, these rational arguments are simply not on the same level with irrational thoughts and sometimes make it worse. People become condiditioned to expect certain negative thoughts again and again. Howver, they can discover the power in their own mind to DELETE the issues that have built up over time.
Question:How long does this process take?
Answer:I do most of my DELETE counseling by telephone with people all over the country and some as far awayas Australia. Often, they are able to complete the proces in 1-4 hours! However, I do have a brief survey I perform with potential clients to determine if they are likely to benefit from the DELETE Technique. It's important that they be motivated and ablet o change how they think and fell about this fear. The survey takes about 5 minutes.
Question: How do you measure success?
Answer: My clients are the ones who keep me posted on their success. We stay in touch and they share their new experiences. I check up on them to monitor their progress and in a few cases, I've done refresher sessions prior to a flight. So far, I have not had anyone report continuing problems with this fear.
Question: How much do you need to know about a person and the history of their fear?
Answer:This approach is one of the most client-focused therapies I'm aware of. I work with each person according to their lead. I need to know what thoughts and beliefs they would like to eliminate but I don't necessarily need to know much about their lives. Issues that contribute to the fear always will surface during the sessions. It is important to know that every person and situation is different, but the approach can be applied universally to rearrange beliefs that many have held onto for years. Also, I've found that many people have the wrong idea about what really caused the fear of flying in the first place. The real cause can often be surprising.
Question: Do you see any special benefits for this approach?
Answer: Many people seem to prefer the anonymity offered by telephone counseling. This makes them more at ease from the start. Also, they see the DELETE Technique as a quicker and easier approach. It certainly is the most intensive work I've ever done, but it's easier on the client...we accomplish so much in a short time.
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Definitions
1. An intricate knot tied by King Gordius of Phrygia and cut by Alexander the Great with his sword after hearing an oracle promise that whoever could undo it would be the next ruler of Asia.
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2. An exceedingly complicated problem or deadlock.
—American Heritage Dictionary
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